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Abuse Doesn't Take a Snow Day

  • Writer: House of Grace
    House of Grace
  • 5 days ago
  • 4 min read

This story was co-published with The Texas Tribune and in collaboration with the Howard Center for Investigative Journalism at the University of Maryland.

Winter storms don’t just bring snow and ice. For some, they also bring increased danger.


When severe weather hits, schools, workplaces, and community spaces often close. While that may feel like a pause or a welcomed break from routine for many people, for others it means losing the places where they feel safest, supported, and able to ask for help.


Storms can trap victims at home with their abuser, cut off access to support systems, and make it harder to reach out for help. When transportation is limited, phones lose power, or normal routines are disrupted, control and violence can escalate. Isolation makes abuse easier to hide and harder to escape.



HOUSTON – When a deadly winter storm struck in February 2021, tens of thousands of Texans were stuck inside with no power and, often, no water. Michelle J. Abdelnoor was trapped with her abusive boyfriend.

She tried to leave on the first day of the five-day storm, when he blamed her for the time he spent in jail after he was convicted of assaulting her in 2020. But he convinced her to stay, arguing the snow-and-ice storm was even worse at her parents’ home north of Houston than in his downtown house.

He quickly became abusive, she said, pushing her, lightly slapping her face, holding her down, and pulling her hair. He tried to disguise his threats as jokes.

“I could see in his face and eyes that he just wanted to hurt me physically, but he would stop himself,” the 39-year-old Abdelnoor said in an interview. She suggested he was trying to avoid doing anything that would leave physical evidence on her body. “It was almost worse mentally, because I didn’t know at what point he was going to explode.”

When she tried to escape, he blocked her path, she said. The storm intensified her sense of danger. “The level of toxicity and abuse was condensed,’’ Abdelnoor said. “The accusations or outbursts of anger that would have taken three weeks were condensed to five days.’’

The winter storm, called “Uri,’’ killed 246 Texans. 


“When it’s all about power and control, if you can isolate your victim from all of their resources, their family, their support system, it’s easier to prey upon them,” said Heather Bellino, CEO of the Texas Advocacy Project, which provides free legal services to survivors of violence. “And there’s less opportunity for them to call for help and get out.”


Joseph Fernandez, an expert in disaster preparedness and emergency response at Florida International University, explained that those affected by a natural disaster are generally asked not to call emergency services unless they absolutely have to. “We can’t come out. Calls get parked,’’ he said. “Then, as (the storm) lightens up, (911) calls go through the roof.”

Sometimes victims want to seek help, but they can’t. Disasters can destroy infrastructure. The New Orleans 911 call center crashed, for instance, when Hurricane Ida hit in 2021, leaving calls for help unanswered. “It is a very common issue,” Fernandez said.

In the five days when the winter storm trapped Texans in their homes and cut off electricity, not a single victim tried to get to the FamilyTime shelter, CEO Christina Allen said. But when the power came back, “hotlines were ringing off the hook,” and the call volume remained higher than usual for the following two months, she added.


Michelle Abdelnoor survived five days with her abuser during the winter storm in Texas. Four years later, she is building a new life for herself, with a job in compliance that she likes and two dogs. “I remember telling him at one point: No matter how much you try to break me down, I will always rise in a better situation than you left me.”

This story was produced in collaboration with the Howard Center for Investigative Journalism at the University of Maryland. Woelfl and Morton reported for the Howard Center. Howard fellow Abby Wallace also contributed research for the story.


When the outside world slows down, abuse doesn’t.

Abuse doesn’t take a snow day.

These moments remind us how important it is to stay aware and connected. If you or someone you know feels unsafe during severe weather, please know you are not alone. Support is still available, even when everything else seems to shut down.

At House of Grace, we understand that danger doesn’t pause for the weather. We remain committed to being a place of safety, compassion, and support, no matter the season.


While resources may be limited during weather disasters, at House of Grace, we are here when you need us.


24/7 Hour Crisis Line; 662-342-1432

Download our free safety plan here: Safety Plan



This story was co-published with The Texas Tribune and in collaboration with the Howard Center for Investigative Journalism at the University of Maryland.

 
 
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